Thoughts on Discretion

By GL Jones

 

I lay awake in bed on Thursday Nite (10/6/16) thinking about the following:

  •   Over my lifetime God has given me the full Revelation of Prudence which includes :(Wisdom,Understanding, Knowledge and Discretion)
  • One can have: ( All Wisdom,all Understanding and all Knowledge and yet not choose to Use All Discretion in a given situation)
  • Discretion is a Choice to exercise all of the Wisdom, Understanding & Knowledge during any given situation.
  • As the man and head of the household, family, and my wife : Discretion is a choice dwell with my wife according to Knowledge, to use Understanding as to what should be done for the good of my family, and to use Wisdom in dealing with my children, grandchildren and others in my life.
  • My first ministry is my Family!
  •  To whom much is given, much is required, which means if God requires the Responsibility from the man concerning his household and family, then God will also give me the Authority to rule with Prudence the said Family & Household.
  • Too many men are weak in our society and look to their wives for guidance and direction in the home.
  • There is a difference in being joint heirs and being dominated by the wife in the home.
  • Both the Husband & the Wife need to know accept their rightful places in the home according to the Scriptures.
  • Men and women need to recognize this reality in marriage.
  • A greater responsibility is always placed on the man or husband in any marriage concerning the use of DISCRETION (the full ear of Prudence).
  •  This includes : the husband being able to remain calm in a disagreement with the wife and to be able to humble oneself!
  • Men, your wife and children will always follow your lead or example in most cases!


“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:5-7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:21-29‬ ‭KJV‬‬

 

Copyright GL Jones Publishing & Christian Heritage Press.All rights reserved 2016.

“You Are Too Sensitive!” – The Favorite Phrase of the Emotional, Verbal or Physical Abuser

By GL Jones

There are basically 3 types of ABUSE propagated by the Abuser and they all hurt:

  •  Physical
  • Verbal and
  • Emotional 

Sadly these abusers are not interested in Forgiveness but only in continuing their abuse.They go as far as even blaming you – the victim by saying: “You are too sensitive!”

This article is dedicated to all EMPATHS and HSP’s -highly sensitive victims of these abusers! The fact is: You are not too sensitive but they are too abusive! Don’t expect the abuser to understand Kindness or respect individual personality differences or your right to your own opinions.

You wake up one day and realize that:

” You understand what it’s like to be the source of constant criticism and blame that turns you into a frightened, mentally paralyzed version of your former self that you have to bring back to life.Only your youth is gone, your looks are fading, you energy is drained and you hopes and dreams are crushed.”

I am particularly interested in in the cycle of abuse by the narcissist in this article, which I find simply both stupefying and fascinating:

Source: Psych Central Professional


The Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse By Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC / Reblogged by GL Jones for the CHIGI Family

“The cycle of abuse Lenore Walker (1979) coined of tension building, acting-out, reconciliation/honeymoon, and calm is useful in most abusive relationships. However, when a narcissist is the abuser, the cycle looks different.

Narcissism changes the back end of the cycle because the narcissist is constantly self-centered and unwilling to admit fault.  Their need to be superior, right, or in charge limits the possibility of any real reconciliation. Instead, it is frequently the abused who desperately tries for appeasement while the narcissist plays the victim. This switchback tactic emboldens the narcissist behavior even more, further convincing them of their faultlessness. Any threat to their authority repeats the cycle again.

Here are the four narcissistic cycles of abuse:

Feels Threatened. An upsetting event occurs and the narcissist feels threatened. It could be rejection of sex, disapproval at work, embarrassment in a social setting, jealousy of other’s success, or feelings of abandonment, neglect, or disrespect. The abused, aware of the potential threat, becomes nervous. They know something is about to happen and begin to walk on eggshells around the narcissist. Most narcissists repeatedly get upset over the same underlying issues whether the issue is real or imagined. They also have a tendency to obsess over the threat over and over.
Abuses Others. The narcissist engages in some sort of abusive behavior. The abuse can be physical, mental, verbal, sexual, financial, spiritual or emotional. The abuse is customized to intimidate the abused in an area of weakness especially if that area is one of strength for the narcissist. The abuse can last for a few short minutes or as long as several hours. Sometimes a combination of two types of abuse is used. For instance, a narcissist may begin with verbal belittling to wear out the abused. Followed by projection of their lying about an event onto the abused. Finally tired of the assault, the abused defensively fights back.
Becomes the Victim. This is when the switchback occurs. The narcissist uses the abused behavior as further evidence that they are the ones being abused. The narcissist believes their own twisted victimization by bringing up past defensive behaviors that the abused has done as if the abused initiated the abuse. Because the abused has feelings of remorse and guilt, they accept this warped perception and try to rescue the narcissist. This might include giving into what the narcissist wants, accepting unnecessary responsibility, placating the narcissist to keep the peace, and agreeing to the narcissistic lies.
Feels Empowered. Once the abused have given in or up, the narcissist feels empowered. This is all the justification the narcissist needs to demonstrate their rightness or superiority. The abused has unknowingly fed the narcissistic ego and only to make it stronger and bolder than before. But every narcissist has an Achilles heel and the power they feel now will only last till the next threat to their ego appears.
Once the narcissistic cycle of abuse is understood, the abused can escape the cycle at any point. Begin by coming up with strategies for future confrontations, know the limitations of the abused, and have an escape plan in place. This cycle does not need to continue forward.”


Christine Hammond is the award winning author of The Exhausted Woman’s Handbook available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and iBooks.


Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 21 Jul 2015
Originally published on PsychCentral.com on 4 May 2015. All rights reserved.

About Christine Hammond, MS, LMHC

Christine is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor by the State of Florida with over fifteen years of experience in counseling, teaching and ministry.

She works primarily with exhausted women and their families in conflict situations to ensure peaceful resolutions at home and in the workplace. She has blogs, articles, and newsletters designed to assist in meeting your needs.

As author of the award winning book, The Exhausted Woman’s Handbook, Christine is a guest speaker at churches, women’s organizations, and corporations.

You can connect with her at her website Grow with Christine at http://www.growwithchristine.com.

 

 

 

“Crazy”-The Favorite Word of the Narcissist

By GL Jones

 

Know that Narcissists are people who have suffered great trauma in their childhood. Please recognize that these people are sick and cannot help themselves. They are emotionally stunted and very insecure. They PROJECT this insecurity off on those around them. You can always tell what the narcissist is thinking or doing from their accusations against others.The tale tell signs are:

  •   Hating members of the opposite sex.
  • A lack of empathy for others.

 

The very meaning of the word narcissist is “unconscious”.The narcissist is known to engage in TRIANGULATION. They are adept at sowing discord among brethren, assemblies,churches and families.Solomon tells us that the plight of the Talebearer or Narcissist is that they will eventually be exposed before all. This means that eventually people will see though them.People who lie, misrepresents, slanders or maligns others will eventually reap what they have sown!

Over the last 15 years I have learned that ” Crazy” seems to be the favorite word of the “pathological narcissist”. God has enlightened me spiritually in many areas.This spiritual journey involved going through a great furnace of affliction.There, I was able to discover many gifts within myself, including Open Vision. During this time, I learned about toxic people (particularly – the narcissist).

What I learned about the narcissist is that you cannot reason with them.They try to destroy your character, reputation with others including your family and friends. They try to convince others that you are “CRAZY” – and this seems to be their favorite word!

Again, Solomon tells us in Proverbs 26: that the plight of the Talebearer or the narcissist is that they will be exposed before the whole congregation or assembly or the entire family.This means that people will eventually see through these talebearers,Narcissists or toxic people!

 

 Copyright GL Jones Publishing/Christian Heritage Press.All Rights Reserved 2016.