How to Walk Powerfully!

by GL Jones

 

I recently did an article blog called: A Good Word for Your Life! In this article I stated that critics will try to talk you out of your game, race, purpose and destiny in life.

Realize that before you walk powerfully, that you must stand powerfully, first! This means you need to have balance! When a baby learns to walk, the first accomplishment is to stand balanced.Then the baby takes the first step.

As Christians we all come in as newborn babes who desire the sincere milk of the Word. As we grow, we then are weaned from the milk and work our way up the food chain to strong meat.We also learn to crawl, stand,walk and eventually run! Occasionally, we fall down, but we get back up! To stand on God’s Word, gives us a solid foundation and sound doctrine. This helps us to build our Belief System. We should never compromise this belief system which includes:(our standards, values, principles and the boundaries set  for us).

Psalms 26:12 KJV

My foot standeth in an even place; in the congregations will I bless the Lord.

Standeth (5975) Hebrew word:

amad

abide, ordain,raise up,repair,stay,dwell, set forth

 

Only when we stand powerfully can we walk powerfully and then run our race powerfully leaving an example and legacy for all to see! We also will then be able to bless the LORD before all the congregations.

 

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing.All rights reserved 2015.

 

 

 

A Good Word for Your Life!

By GL Jones

You can OVERCOME ALL negative chatter against you!

   – Walk POWERFULLY while they talk!

   -Walk POWERFULLY after they talk!

   -Make Sure your Walk of FAITH is greater than their talk!

   – A life of any SIGNIFICANCE will always draw critics!

    -Your FAITH in God will have to be GREAT because critics will come!     

     -Never let a critic talk you out of your GAME!

     -Never let a critic knock you out of the RACE!

     -Never let a critic rob you of your PURPOSE!

     -Never let a critic or criticism alter your DESTINY!      

 

 

 

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing.All rights reserved.

 

Dealing with Toxic or Difficult People-Part Four

Spiritual commentary added by Bishop GL Jones /General notes: Leo – Actualization.org
How do you deal with toxic people who try to destroy you or to bring you down?

Please note that there can be a whole spectrum in levels of toxicity (Mild,Medium and Super Toxicity.)

Part Four

We have been speaking about: Dealing with Toxic or Negative People.

Part Four  Series  Finale or Conclusion

Once you build up all the abundance from God and experience his mighty deliverance and power then you can enforce your boundaries very easily. You can then proclaim the  goodness of God and help deliver others out of their pain and misery and their skewered lives!
When you get the place than you don’t need any one person in your life to lean on , this is indeed a very powerful place to come to!

I heard another counselor say that: ” Many people seek Deliverance from a situation but what they really need is God’s power working in their lives.”

The deliverance will be automatic.
Transition Period
We are all going thru a transition period on our Christian journey.
When we get in these skewered positions or situations in life we need to :
Sit down and realize that you are trapped now but not FOREVER! If I handle this situation right now and learn from it, I will be the better for it.
Then ask yourself :What kinds of steps do I need to take to better myself?
You then take those steps.
What to do while in transition period and doing steps 1-3.

*The next thing you should do if you cannot cut a toxic person out of your life yet:
SIMPLY LIMIT YOUR EXPOSURE to that person! (Grey Rock Method)
Explain the Grey Rock method:
The Grey Rock Method  is great for dealing with psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths. If you went out to a rock pile and saw a gray rock or pebble, you probably wouldn’t notice it because it does not stand out! In this method, any victims of abuse should tone down their approach in interacting with the psychopath, narcisst or sociopath so as to eliminate any verbal, emotional or physical abuse that comes from them.Since the victim may not yet be in a “No Contact” situation due to current circumstances.The psychopath, narcicisst and sociopath all love DRAMA and get bored very easily! This also works with toxic or negative people regardless of their mental disorder.

Cut the hours spent with the toxic person.If you are spending 20 hrs then spend only 10  hrs.
This cuts your exposure to toxicity in half.
Limit negative exposure at least for now to hold things together and to keep your family intact.

The other  thing that you can do is to add more positive people and positive influences into your life through:

People
Church Fellowship
Digital media
Self help tools
Seminars
Reading High quality books
Etc.

* Digital media,seminars and books can count as one of your top 5 associates.

*These tools of virtual association can help to pull you out your negative or toxic situations.

Lastly:

What do you do in the heat of the moment when you are dealing with a toxic person?

This toxic person has just blown their stack or is having a real meltdown and you face:
Drama?
Anger?
The problem is, and you have to ask oneself: How did I get in this situation or to this place in the first place?
Take responsibility for your actions and errors, (enabling,codependency,)
Know that the problem could have or should have stopped  earlier in your life and the relationship.
It took you a long time to get where you are today -months, years even decades.
So it may take you a while to get out of this skewered situation.

Now that you realize the situation that you are in and that it’s too late to shield yourself from the toxic exposure – Now what do you do?

‌* The best thing that you can do is not engage the toxic person:
Verbally
Mentally or
Physically

Because of the low level of conciousness exhibited by the toxic person, you don’t want your interaction with this toxic person to digress into a mudslinging contest.

*Don’t let interaction with the toxic person evolve into something nasty! Take the high road. Have some Class.

Never allow yourself to sink to the level of the toxic person!

You may have to:

‌Walk out or leave
Separate for a Season (in Marriage)
Hang up
Block Text
Go No Contact
Be Emotionally detached
Never React Emotionally
Stay calm,cool and collected
Be mindful as Christians,of the Holy Scriptures
Walk by the Spirit and not after the flesh
Calm your own emotions
You be the Grown up in the relationship!
Watch & Pray!

Keep in mind that one is dealing with toxic and negative people, if you calm down and be grounded, they mirror your reaction to the situation.You will see them calm down a few notches.Never escalate the situation by allowing yourself to become emotionally engaged or reactive to them!
If you do this and follow this instruction, the the toxic person will most likely settle down themselves!
If you don’t react then you won’t feed into the toxic person’s anger and negativity!
This anger and negativity can become a cyclone that you can helplessly become caught up in.
Again, don’t engage the toxic person!
Don’t be too judgemental!
You want stay out of the judgement mode because, as we said earlier, toxic people are mirrors of what not to do! They also project a lot.

You will then be able to MINIMIZE both the toxic person and their corrosive and negative effects on your life!

 

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing.
All rights reserved.

Dealing with Toxic or Difficult People-Part Three

Spiritual commentary added by Bishop GL Jones /General notes: Leo – Actualization.org
How do you deal with toxic people who try to destroy you or to bring you down?

Please note that there can be a whole spectrum in levels of toxicity (Mild,Medium and Super Toxicity.)
Part Three

There are some that are in a precarious and compromising position that will not  allow
You to cut some toxic or people out of your lives because you are too dependent upon them currently.I want to use a Chess methaphor to help you understand your current situation:

The Chess Game Metaphor:
We are playing a game of chess.I have the black pieces and you have the white pieces.We are in the center diagonal of the Chess board. Your King is in the very middle center of the board facing my Bishop, who is on the bottom part of the diagonal.Your Queen is on the top part of the diagonal.Its my move, so I check your king and force him to move off of the center diagonal.Now your Queen is vulnerable and can be taken.In chess this is called being in a skewer position.There is nothing you can do to stop me from taking your Queen and winning the chess match! Checkmate!

Many of you are in a relationship where you are exposed to toxic people and left vulnerable. You can’t leave the  situation because you depend  on certain people in it to live or survive.

A lesson that God has taught me recently is that we should : Always deal from a Position of Strength when engaging with toxic people or toxic relationships. This is because toxic people have little or no empathy for you or your situation. Remember that these people have a low conscious level.So don’t expect them to be aware of or to meet your needs.They are only interested in themselves and their own needs.

So what happens when you are unable to cut these people out of your life because of any of the following situations:

Marriage
Financial Insolvency
Children being supported by you
They pay the rent
Disability,etc.


You have exposed yourself strategically or life circumstances have put you in a bad situation , for what ever reason:

Disability
Job Troubles
No Car
Marriage
Homeless
Abuse,etc.

Pardon the expression but they (the toxic people)  have you by the balls.These negative people have the upper hand and they let you know it daily.

So what can you do?

One solution of dealing with this scenario is to take a long term approach.
You say I’m unable to remove myself from this bad situation now, but in 1-2 -3-4 or 5 years I will be able to do.
You take the necessary steps to remove yourself at the appointed time.
Position Yourself in the Lord!
Pray daily and seek him through fasting.
Trust God for DELIVERANCE!
Use everything at your disposal to encourage yourself : digital media,seminars, self help tools,etc.
Keep your daily relationship with Christ through prayer,fasting and study.
Take this plan of Action:
Sit down and redesign your life so that you are no longer vulnerable or exposed!
You no longer rely on other people but God for daily needs.
You now have the option of cutting them off if they become too toxic or abusive.
Keep in mind to fulfill all needs:
In  Relationships- An exchange of love,sex,feelings,emotions,etc.
On a job – we get pay,awards etc.
With friends – we get a shoulder to cry on,encouragiement,, emotional stability, etc.

In Part One We mentioned:

8 Types of People that can Qualify as Toxic persons: 

Boss
Coworkers
Business Associates/Clergy
Clients or Customers
Friends
Intimate Relationships (wife/husband,etc.)
Your Children
Family (Mom,Dad,Siblings etc.)
6-8 are the most difficult to cut.


Try to avoid these 8 Skewer situations as you rebuild and reconfigure your life!

Remember to never compromise your values, standards and principles for anyone. This is the belief system in which you must live by.
Ex. You have a business client who brings your company millions in revenue.Will you compromise your principles to keep him?

For your long term success you need to ask yourself these questions?
How do I make myself financially independent?
If you are disabled you need to asked yourself – how do I get healed and improve my overall health?
* As a minister of the  Gospel and (Bishop), I can honestly tell you that YOU CAN’T – But God can do anything!

We pray that you prosper in body,soul and spirit and be abundant in all things lacking for nothing (not needy). Amen

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing..
All rights reserved.

Dealing with Toxic or Difficult People – Part Two

Spiritual commentary added by Bishop GL Jones /General notes: Leo – Actualization.org
How do you deal with toxic people who try to destroy you or to bring you down?

Please note that there can be a whole spectrum in levels of toxicity (Mild,Medium and Super Toxicity.)

Part Two:
Even the people the closest to you will see what they can get away with if you have no Boundaries established (spouse or children).

   I want introduce to you what I call the  3 Mutuals in any relationship and especially Marriage.
They are as follows:

Mutual Accountibilty
Mutual Respect
Mutual Trust

Mutual Accountability 

The foundation of all relationships is accountability. Mutual means that accountability is given by both partners in the relationship. In most close relationships such as a marriage there are certain boundaries set and certain expectations that must be met (financial, emotional, household, sexual, etc.) These needs and expectations must be met on a consistent basis by both partners in the relationship, otherwise there will be problems and dissatisfactions.

Mutual  Respect

I heard someone say once : ” You may not like me or always agree with me but you will respect me! ” Often, in abusive relationships and marriages one partner’s views,opinions or ideas are belittled or not accepted. In a healthy relationship, there is a mutual respect for both partners opinions and contributions to that relationship.There is also daily affirmation and praise given by each partner to the other partner’s contributions to the relationship.

Mutual Trust

Trust is one of bars in the triangle of marriage.(Love,Trust & Forgiveness). All three must be mutually given in a good marriage.
Conversely, toxic people live their lives like animals in a low state of conciousness, in that they merely exist from day to day, never truly prevailing or becoming successful. These negative people also seem to have no sense of fairness in relationships. They demand accountibilty, respect and trust from others while giving back very little to their relatonship partners.
The toxic person will demand more and more life out of you and will eventually drain you!
With these types (toxic people), setting boundaries are even more important!
You don’t have to always cut everyone.
You can do a Reform or Reformation with some if they violate your values,standards or principles:
Sit down with that person.
Layout your boundaries,principles and expectations.
Know that it may be difficult to do.
Then wait to see what happens while looking for improvements and the desired results.
Be sure that your partner values your relationship.
But also know that most won’t change or take advantage of the new opportunity for some are really sick and cannot help themselves:
Addiction to (sex,drugs or alcohol, food etc.)
Chronic depression
Low level of Conciousness
Bad habits
Childhood Trauma
Mental disorders such as:(Sociopaths,Narcissm,Pyschopaths,Bipolar, Schizophrenics,OCD,etc.)

Know that these people may or may not want to change for the better. I guess it depends on the value of the relationship in their eyes.They may not value you or the relationship.
The latter seems to happen in most cases.These Toxic people will continue to violate your values, standards and principles until you decide to cut them from your life!
Please acknowledge to yourself that under certain circumstances an some extreme scenarios that you will cut anybody from your life!Even your spouse and kids.

How do you cut people?


-Sit down and talk with the person.Explain to them all of the problems that you are having with them.Tell them that the relationship is over.

-Then go No Contact.
-Delete the person from your phone.Block their phone # and don’t call them.

-In dating – you BREAKUP!
-If Married you consider Divorce!
-If in a job or career or business – you go to work elsewhere by changing jobs or businesses.

You cannot issue idle or empty threats!
Your Boundaries must have teeth!
This includes even you spouse and kids in specific cases!
* There are some people that you cut out of your life only as a last resort.

If you are in a bad city/country consider moving or relocation to another city/country.
Your environment is very important an crucial to your:
Success in life
Emotions
The kind of life that you live and
Your Destiny
The Legacy left by you
Learn to become a good judge of character!
Pray for Spiritual Discernment and the spiritual gift of Prophecy!
Only then can we try every spirit by using God’s Holy Spirit!

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing.
All rights reserved.

Dealing with Toxic or Difficult People – Part One

Spiritual commentary added by Bishop GL Jones /General notes: Leo – Actualization.org
How to deal with Toxic or Difficult People – Part One 

Introduction

 

How do you deal with toxic people who try to destroy you or to bring you down?

Please note that there can be a whole spectrum in levels of toxicity (Mild,Medium and Super Toxicity).

I want to start this 4 part series entitled : “How to Deal with Toxic or Difficult People”. I was watching a great video by a fellow named Leo on his channel :
Actualization.org

However, Leo addressed every type of person but those in the 5 fold ministry. I thought wouldn’t it be great to apply the applicable ideas for those in ministry who have to deal with people every day. As ministers of the Gospel we want to see people change for the better.However, we recognize that God gives every person “free will” which means that he or she has to choose to change.The Spirit can draw them and the Word can reveal their error, but it’s entirely in their hands to make the change and accept correction or reproof.

As a  spiritual father I give you this 4 part series today adding my spiritual commentary of over 52 yrs of walking with God. I have also worked in ministry for 43+ yrs,since age 14. I am currently the International Presiding Bishop of Christian Heritage International Group, here in sunny Clearwater,FL.

We live in a very interesting age today – the computer age! One can google any subject or topic into their browser and get an overview or understanding of that topic.Social networks like Facebook,YouTube, etc. offer many many self help topics.There is a lot advice out there.Some of it good and some of it bad! So be careful out there.Make sure to check this advice against the leadership teachings and doctrine of your church,pastor and your Bible.

Part One
Some people are more dysfunctional,abusive and toxic than others depending on their upbringing, environment and background.

Know that you are like a sponge (in your mind), and that no matter how developed, successful or happy that you think that you are,if you are living in a negative environment, it’s robbing you of your full potential and it’s making you miserable.If you stay around and feed on negative people they can bring you down.

People with a limiting belief system will also effect your psyche and level of spirituality.

My philosophy in life is that:  “Life is too short to constantly deal with toxic and negative people.” This not to say as ministers of the gospel, we won’t try to teach,motivate or inspire people to change to a higher and better way of living, according to the scriptures. However, we need to know that we are incapable of changing people.Only God’s Spirit and Word can do that! Still, God allows each individual the power of free will: the ability to choose to be changed.There is nothing that we can do for a person if they choose not to change!

So why, do we labor to change others in fleshly zeal and labor? Life is already hard enough.

As people of God, it would behoove us to move those refuse to hear truth out of our lives and keep moving onward and upward ourselves. If they are to see the light, it is possible through God’s grace, that they may have an awakening later, and follow us.We can lead others only by our example! So move on.

Always try to surround yourself with positive people.Find people that will build something with you, rather than be an antagonist towards you!

The Root Cause of Toxicity 
‌Some people are stuck in the social matrix or are totally relying on the social matrix.
They are not willing to rid themselves of the toxic people in their lives.
They exist in a spiral of negativity
The spiral of negativity will bring you down
They don’t live in an environment of Faith because of the many toxic people around them!
These people are full of Unbelief
Jim Rome states: “You are the average of the top 5 associates or friends that you hangout with.

What this means is that by the hrs/wk spent, if you rank these,the top 5- they have the most influence and are absorbed into you.”

Who do you want to surround yourself with?

As employees
As business partners
As friends
As associates
Ministers

8 Types of People that can Qualify as Toxic persons: 

Boss
Coworkers
Business Associates/Clergy
Clients or Customers
Friends
Intimate Relationships (wife/husband,etc.)
Your Children
Family (Mom,Dad,Siblings etc.)

6-8 are the most difficult to cut.
You may be shocked to see that you hang out with some more than others.

You may also be hanging around  negative,angry and toxic people all the time.This may be blocking your success.

If this is so, then you should know that you are stuck in a bad environment.

Let’s define toxic or toxicity.

A toxic person is one who is:

  1. Suffering from Depression
  2. Always Negative or a Pessimist and alway full of doubt while playing the Victim role.
  3. Dogmatic and set in their ways.Presents others with one mold that they must fit in order to be loved or even appreciated.No flexibility whatsoever.These people do not understand the principle of SEPARATENESS in individuals.
  4. A very angry or violent person.There different levels of anger.
  5. DRAMA Queens!These people have a very turbulent lifestyle.Always up or down emotionally.
    They make mountains out of mole hills.
  6. Criminal Activity 
  • Real leeches on your lifestyle
  • Suck the life right out of you.
  • Really dangerous

7. Addictions

-Drugs
-Alcohol
-Sex
-TV,Games,etc.
-Food
So what is the Ultimate Solution ?

You have to cut some people out of your life!

Elevation requires SEPARATION!

This solution is so simple that most people don’t know that it exists as an option.

You simply take the scalpel and simply cut out the tumors or toxic people in your life.And of course it will be painful at first.

(In your Bible: ABRAHAM established the principle of Circumcision by cutting away his dead foreskin or flesh as a sign of his new covenant with God!)

The scalpel story is a very apt methaphor for what you are doing.We said earlier that your mind (soul) is like a sponge that soaks up everything that comes into your life! This includes toxic people and their bad ideas.

When negativity seeps into your life, it becomes a cancerous tumor that methastithizes and destroys you.

I know people who have become bitter because of maybe a bad marriage in their life times.These people then develop incurable cancer and die because of their bitterness! This is why FORGIVENESS and FORGIVING is so important in order to Thrive and Survive in ones life.Cancer can be considered at times and in some cases, a phycosomatic disease.It also can run in a family genetics (i.e. breast,ovarian and prosthetics cancers.)

This makes the scalpel methaphor even more important in our lives for we especially as Christians and ministers of the Gospel must let go and let God! This means some people have to be cut out of our lives in order for us to be successful because these people are a hindrance to us on our life journey!

Sooner or later you will have to see that all this negativity combination you through all the toxic people in your life affects your habits and your way of thinking and also your purpose in the world will be obscured by blindness.This toxicity all builds up in you over prolonged periods of time: (months and years) 

Do yourself a favor and build the courage to cut these people out of your life.

Please acknowledge that if someone is violating the values, principles and standards that you have been taught to live by then that person can and should be cut out of your life!

It does not matter that they are close family – they have to go! Otherwise they will destroy you.

My testimony is this: For 10 yrs ( 1984 – 1994), Helen and I as well as well as our 2 children, felt that we needed to separate from our close family: (Parents,siblings in Florida). In 1987 Helen and I attended the Christ Gospel Bible Institute in Jeffersonville, Indiana so that we could be prepared to pursue ministry. I also earned you bachelors degree at Indiana University.Helen and look back and see that those 7 years, though painful, were very crucial in the development of the Jones Family. We are better people today, because we chose to obey God, separate from family and friends for a season. Our relatonship with family and friends, now that we moved back in 1994, is stronger than ever.That period of separation was necessary for our spiritual education and our moral development.Also, our children are better protected and bonded with us because of this choice, being protected from bad influences and environment.There are some family members in our extended family that may feel that we wasted 7 yrs but Helen and I both know better! Helen and I did what we felt was in the Jones Family’s best interest.

Jesus to told his disciples concerning marriage:

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and CLEAVE to his wife!

(Wheat & Tares Principle) ” Let them grow together.”Sometimes in marriage, divorce is not an option because it will totally devastate or destroy the children and leave scars for future generations. Wise and godly parents will recognize this and do what’s in the best interest of the entire family, and not just themselves.

Paul said in I Cor. 7:15 concerning marriage and divorce; let the unbelieving partner leave.

Peter said to men in marriage,dwell with you wife according to knowledge ( I Peter 3:7-9) This means for men, sometimes we need to just shut the hell up!
Peter also said to both husband and wife,not to rail on each other otherwise your prayers will be hindered.
Sometimes in extended families hard choices have to made to cut members that violate our boundaries and principles which include:

Parents
Siblings
Aunts and Uncles
All other blood relatives
Always set boundaries for yourself, your family and others in your life!
Always be sure to enforce these boundaries otherwise others will lose respect for your negligence and lack of standards and boundaries.

In Part Two we will start discussing boundaries.

Christian Heritage Press and G.L. Jones Publishing.All rights reserved.